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» » How I Became Lil Marky « «
I can’t tell you exactly when or why it happened. I had a loving mother, a normal upbringing with normal toilet behavior. I never had a bed-wetting problem, at least not any more than most other kids. But one day, when I was about 23 or so, I saw a magazine that had diaper girls in it. I immediately bought the magazine, not knowing, despite my obvious arousal, that soon I would be wearing diapers and drinking from bottles just like those girls.
On my way home, I bought a pack of large Depends adult diapers. It was really a spur of the moment thing, just found myself doing it all of a sudden. I also bought a pacifier and a baby bottle. And I hadn’t even looked at the whole magazine yet, just the cover and back! I guess I knew more, subconsciously, than I would admit, even to myself.
I arrived at home, and quickly unpacked all my treasures, spreading them out on the floor of my living room. I pulled out one of the diapers, examined it for a short time, feeling its lovely texture and listening to that fabulous rustle that I have grown to love. When I was fairly confident that I knew how it worked, I lay down on my back with my knees up and began putting on the fresh, crinkley diaper.
I immediately became aroused, and a feeling of comfortable snugness flowed into me like a song. I will admit, that it was a very sexual feeling and remains that way to this day, whenever I put on a diaper. I feel warm and snuggly and like nothing can get me. That day, however, it was a new feeling and has never been that good again.
After taping the diaper into place over my erection, which remained untouched for the moment, I pulled the pacifier out of a bag and plopped it into my mouth. Immediately, as if I had been doing it all my life, I started to slurp noisily at the rubber nipple. Since baby pacifiers leave a little room on both sides, some drool started to leak out of my mouth. I just let it, and it fell onto the tee shirt that I was wearing, like a real baby.
Then I had an idea. The tee shirt that I was wearing was long, hanging a little past mid-thigh. I crawled over to my kitchen utility drawer, and rooted around until I had found the two largest safety pins that I could find. Pulling the front and back of the shirt together tightly between my legs, I pinned them so that they were stable and tight fitting over my diaper. Now I had a makeshift baby shirt!
I poured some milk into the baby bottle that I had bought with everything else, then returned to lay down in my living room. I lay on my back with my knees up, just like before and started to drink from the bottle. It was tough at first, but once I got into a rhythm, it was soon gone. I burped loudly and returned to fill it up again. I felt so babyish and sweet!
After lying down on my blanket in the living room again, I began to drink the second bottle. About halfway through it, though, I realized an urge bigger than hunger and undeniable as oxygen, was bubbling up inside me. My bladder was getting full, and I soon had to go very badly.
I had known, when buying the diapers at the store, that I would end up wetting them. After all that’s what diapers are for. But I was totally unprepared to do so. I held it and held it. I tried to let go, but something in my mind just wouldn’t let go of all that potty training. I would let a little leak out at a time, and just get used to it.
Well, as you may well know, once those flood gates are open, it’s hard to close them. Eventually I gave up and just let the deluge begin in my diaper. And it came out quickly, spreading its warmth all over my groin, dripping down of my now soft genitals to puddle around my bottom. It felt so good that I wanted to do it again, so I fixed myself another couple of bottles and waited for the feeling to return. I didn’t change my diaper at that time. I wanted to fill this one completely up!
After repeating this cycle several times with about eight bottles and four wettings, my diaper was soaked thoroughly and starting to leak a little. I began to rock back and forth in the pee soaked diaper, feeling the wet padding on the skin of my bottom and around my genitals. This was the greatest feeling so far, with the still warm material cradling and caressing my sensitive parts like that. I became aroused very quickly.
It seems that I had forgotten all about the magazine that had stirred this longing in me in the first place. But not anymore, I pulled it out of the bag, ripped the cellophane off and opened it up to the first page. There I saw a full color picture of a grown woman, sitting in a playpen and wearing disposable diapers just like mine. I found this incredibly sexy, and eagerly looked through the rest of the magazine, doing what came naturally when looking at such things. I put my hand inside my diaper and began to stroke myself. At the same time, I was pressing the soaked diaper up against my skin, feeling the quickly cooling dampness in every nook and cranny of the area it covered. This added a pleasant feeling to the act that I had never felt. I was in heaven!
All things, however, must come to an end, and about halfway through the magazine, so did this. My heart was beating like never before and a post orgasmic euphoria filled my soul with a sense of well being. I had not been so happy in years. And to think I owed it all to diapers and baby stuff.
I cleaned myself up with a large, warm, wet washcloth. I got all the sticky stuff and all the pee off of my skin, pulled the soaked diaper to the side and grabbed another dry one. Before I put it on though, I realized that putting a dry diaper over the wetness that still clung to my skin, was not the proper thing to do and I might get a rash.
So I toddled, wearing only the unpinned tee shirt, to the bathroom. I opened the cabinet and pulled down a large container of talc that I keep around in case I get chafed or something. This was just what I needed!
I returned to my blanket, which had acquired a rather distinct wet spot, and lay back down. I opened up the bottle with one hand, put the fresh diaper under my bottom, pulled my knees to my chest an started applying the powder. It came out faster than I thought, and before I knew it, my bottom and groin looked like a powdered donut. I rubbed the stuff around and into my skin, getting aroused again as I did, just a little. Then when I felt soft and dry, I taped the diaper into place and pinned the shirt back into its baby looking position.
I spent the rest of the day doing the same things. I went through about half a dozen diapers, and had to change shirts twice, due to leaks. I drank a lot of baby bottles full of milk or juice, and wet whenever I could, holding out with the change until my diaper was good and soaked. Also, I looked at the magazine several times. I found that in addition to the pretty pictures, there were also stories and ads from other diaper people. I read the whole thing over and over, wetting and acting as much like a baby as I could. It was a very long day, and I enjoyed it like no other.
Since that day, I have been in diapers on and off, whenever I felt like it. I would go for long periods without buying diapers, due to a low level of shame that I could not get over for some reason. Then, temptation would get the better of me and I would run out to the local drug store for another pack of diapers.
My shame vanished, however, after talking to some other AB’s on the computer. There really are a lot of others out there, and talking to them, I began to feel more comfortable with my babyhood. I highly suggest that anyone who is still feeling that nagging feeling in their brain telling them that what they are doing is wrong or sick, find some other AB’s and chat with them a little. You might be surprised at how much company you have got, after all.
Over the last few years, I have purchased adult baby clothes including onesies, plastic pants and even a big old diaper bag. I still want more, but that stuff is expensive, so it might be awhile before I can get the footed sleepers and furniture that I desire in my heart.
And listen to this! I put a personal ad on an AB website and am currently in contact with a woman who wants to be my Nanny. We haven’t met yet, but I am being patient. We only just met and I’ve never been diapered around or by anyone else before, so I don’t want to screw it up by getting all needy. Perhaps, if things work out, I will write another story about the day we actually meet. I promise to tell you everything about my first Baby/Nanny experience.
Until then, stay safe and warm. And maybe even a little bit wet!
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