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So how did I ever get wrapped up in this diaper fetish of mine? I think back as a child when my mother used to dress my brother and I in full length rubber snow pants for outside play. I fondly remember the texture and the rustle of these snow pants. They were great. I guess the feel and sound that excited me so much actually related to the true object of desire - diapers.
It was at the age of 22 that I got hooked on wearing diapers. I remember the night clearly. I was living with a male roommate at the time, he was away for the week, but his Father was down for a weekend and was staying in his room. I decided to buy some disposable diapers, but was too scared to buy them in town in case someone had recognized me. I hopped in my car with money in hand and drove a few hours away to a small city where I located a pharmacy.
I was anxious as hell, my mind racing and scared that maybe I would be found out. I sat in the parking lot for a while trying to pick up enough nerve to go into the store. Finally, I got out of the car. I put my cash in my right pocket, separate from my wallet...so I could reach the cash quickly and not have anyone see my ID as I open my wallet. I walked in the store, my throat was getting dry, and I was nervous as hell. I looked around, there was a number of people at the checkout. I waited for a while browsing through the birthday cards until there was no line. I walked over to the health aids area of the drugstore, the isle just happened to be visible from the pharmacist behind his counter. I could see them, Attends disposable briefs. I think that's what I wanted. I remember looking at that package countless number of times before...getting turned on by the picture of the adult diaper on the back. I eyed a trial pack of 2 briefs on the shelf, of medium size, and picked them up and proceeded to the check out.
I was committed, my throat ever more dry, and getting somewhat dizzy as It struck me as to what I was doing. I walked up to the cashier, but had to wait for a moment as there was someone ahead of me. God, this was embarrassing..oh oh, a couple of teenagers were now in the lineup beside me. I could see the stare in his eyes on the package that I had in my hand. I tried to shield the lettering from those in the line but was of little use. Yes, I was next. The cashier greeted me and I nervously said hello. God, get that package in the plastic bag, please, I kept thinking. Finally, the sale was over and the lady cashier handed me the adult diapers. I did it! There was a big sigh of relief as I walked out that door.
I hopped in my car and started driving home, with the package on the floor of the passengers front seat. I was getting very excited thinking about the diapers I was soon going to wear. I was a little paranoid however, thinking of what I might say to the Policeman should I ever get stopped for some reason and get asked what I might have in that plastic bag. I couldn't wait to see what the diaper looked like so I grabbed the package and opened it up just enough to see inside and put my hand in for a feel. I was even more turned on, seeing those two diapers inside. My city was getting closer, I would be home soon!
I arrived home, and cautiously carried the plastic bag up to the apartment. Good, my friends father was not in. I went into my room and closed the door behind me. It was already 9:30 pm, so It was not all that odd being in bed at that time. I lay on my bed, and pulled the diaper out and took a look at it. The white, soft plastic outer lining of the diaper was much the same as a baby diaper. I teased myself a little, exploring with my mind what the diaper would feel like once it was on, groping at the diaper with my hand at the same time and hearing that all too familiar rustle.
I found the instruction guide in the Attends package, and read it several times, getting turned on by the pictures within the pamphlet. I laid the diaper under my bottom, and positioned myself so that it would fit correctly. I opened the bottle of baby powder beside me and lightly sprinkled my body, those areas that would come in contact with the diaper. I pulled the top portion of the diaper between my legs, the feeling was tremendously exciting. I fastened both the top and bottom adhesives to keep the diaper in place. The diaper was on. My goodness, what a feeling. This was a mind shattering experience and very sexual.
After a short period of rest, I was awakened by the opening of the apartment door. Oh oh, my mind raced. My roommates father had returned for the evening. He yelled "anybody home"?. I had to reply, so I said "yes, I'm in bed reading". After a quick knock he opened my bedroom door to say hello. God, here I am in a diaper underneath my covers talking to my roommates father! I hope the smell of the baby powder didn't raise some suspicion. After a brief chat, he said goodnight and closed the door. What a close call. I could hear him stir in the room next door; I was very paranoid so I slowly undid the adhesives to my diaper to take it off. The closeness of that diaper was now gone, it was off. I quietly wrapped the diaper up and placed it in the plastic bag and hid it underneath my laundry pile for disposal the next day. I waited till morning to shower off the baby powder...my bed sure smelled nice that evening.
There you have it, my first encounter with diapers. From that point onward, diaper wearing continues to be an enjoyable experience within the privacy of my home. I consider myself a normal kinda guy with a harmless fetish, to myself and those around me. There have been bouts of diaper guilt over the years, but I have accepted them and have learned to live with this fetish.
I wear diapers when I can, but sometimes go weeks without having them on. All depends on what's occupying my mind space, I tend not to wear them very often in the summer (too warm) or when I'm pre-occupied in a relationship. Maybe someday I will have an open minded boyfriend that I could spill the beans to and speak of my fetish. That second coming out process will not be easy, but knowing others out there have taken such a plunge makes the prospect more luring. Who knows.
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